My life has pretty much done a 360 since the last time I wrote. I moved away from home, I’m officially a university student – lots of change in a short space of time.
To be honest, I was worried about how it would feel to have a new room (and a whole new life) after living at home with my family for so many years. I am a creature of habit and it felt odd to be faced with all these changes. But as I tend to do, I underestimated my ability to adapt and get on with it. I feel like we all do that. Give yourself some credit where its due – we are adaptable!
This past month has been a whirlwind of trying to find my feet and manage a huge workload, but also achieve the balance that is required for a happy, fulfilling life. Mindset is such an important thing and I’ve always found my mind the most difficult thing to control and navigate. But I’m learning. I’m still working on finding my rhythm, but I’m enjoying the change (and challenge) for the most part. It is pushing me and humbling me and teaching me that time is precious and social media and procrastination are thieves.
Some days, I want to explode because I feel so good and amped up. And other days, I want to lie in a ball on my bed and cry (and that’s exactly what I do) because I feel like I’m not smart enough and not good enough and will never be able to get this degree. And that’s okay. I’m learning to allow myself the space to get stuff wrong. And be scared and confused and feel all the feelings. And just observe them. And that in itself is a change because I’ve always struggled with this. I’m also really lucky to be surrounded by such supportive people. It’s wild how quickly you can feel connected to people you’ve only known for a couple of weeks.
I am definitely learning that my university experience is going to consist of many hours of hard work. And that’s okay. I knew what I was signing up for, and now I’m here, living it, and its all happening so fast, and I’m trying to soak up every minute and not wish it away. Because before I know it, I will blink and time will be running away from me and I’ll feel as if I let all the fun of uni life slip through my fingers. But anyways – we’re learning.
So that’s it for now. A lot is going on. But this is a nice little constant to have. Be kind to yourself.